Movie Review – Night Watch

Night Watch Cover3/14/06

Night Watch is a Russian vampire story.

This fascinating, cheaply made, meat shop is only a 6.

But they tried.

My brain said, “NO!”  Then my heart said, “No!”  But my spleen.  My spleen said, “Hmmm.”  The nice thing about the Cedar Lee (
Cleveland’s independent movie theater) is that you can buy a half bottle of wine for only $8.50.  It helped but didn’t kick in until much later in the movie. 

Anyway, the movie was a modern vampire story in Russian with Subtitles set in
Moscow.  The forces of Good and Evil have a truce.  Each has a police force to watch the other side for rule breaking.  Thus, the Night Watch title.  The forces of Evil have their own Day Watch.  Cute.

This movie was done in the gritty, washed out way that a cheap Russian B horror flick could only be done in with.  Yeah.  Having never seen a Russian horror movie, I sat in fascination and contemplation as I enjoyed my grape juice and watched the sloppy plot and dialogue unfold before me like a cheap French whore on her cigarette break.

Basically, if you wish to do an autopsy on something that should be dead, go see it.  It is in very limited release, so a rental would be in order.  I considered it an educational event and now feel much more fulfilled.  Ok, I’ll stop.

The theater was mostly empty; there were about 8 personages in attendance.  Two guys were sitting behind me as I sat too far in the front to where I would almost cross my eyes to read the subtitles.  One had a unique laugh.  He had an almost-hysterical laugh/giggle .  They may have been cinema majors from Case Western.  I see Those people all the time at the Cinematheque…

None of you will ever see this movie, but I felt like writing it up anyway.  I had a good time.  My therapist says that is a good thing.  And so does Martha.

~Elric the Damned

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